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Jason's Mother, being the supreme pain in my ass that she is, has decided nope, she's not going to move anymore. So we do not get the house. Arg. Stab me in the mother fucking eye. Here is where I went a bit spaztic and ranted for a good few paragraphs. I have deleted that for fear that the men in the little white coats would have shown up at the door. To highlight a bit, I will say that I am pretty sure that I am having some sort of mental breakdown. We must find somewhere else to live. I do not want to be a built in baby sitter any longer. I do not want to end up hating members of my family. And living in this space with them is going to make it end up like that. I don't care if finances will be tight, I must have a place of my own. I am really feeling like I completely hate my life right now. And that just isn't a good place to be at. Things must change. I have completely lost my place of peace. I am angry all the time. It isn't a good thing. Not at all.
So we are back on the house hunt, and there is crap to choose from around here. But, something will be found, because it has to be.


Hopefully Jason and I will be signing a lease on a house in October. It is the one his Mom is currently living in, but when her lease is up in October she is moving in with her boyfriend. The house is up on the lake (ooo ritzy part of town LOL) It isn't palatial, but it is cute, it has 3 bedrooms, a bath, laundry room, kitchen, dining room, living room, full basement, canapy to park cars under, a nice little yard and its own dock and access to the lake. It's not going to be that much a month either. And it will get us out of here and into our own space. I know that Jason wants to leave like... tomorrow and stay up there and pay his Mom her lease since she's not staying there anyway, but I am going to talk some sense into him. I need time to sort through everything here and pack. I hate doing moving in trickles. Get it packed and get it done. So, A little more than a month should give me time to do this. (Remember, it's hard to pack unless it's nap time.) SO yah, that's whats going on. I'm sure I will get econamy lectures from my parents and blah blah blah and you don't have to do this and you don't make anything staying at home with Strider blah blah blah. But the truth is we need our own place, I am tired of being here. It is insane here all the time. Yuppers. I hope that everyone can come stay :)
MMmMmMMm This morning's breakfast for me and the little man. I was so proud I had to take a picture. They were soooo good.



Hmmm.... What's been going on.

My back is completely out of whack. It's all across my lower back. The muscles seize up and ache at every turn. Sitting and or laying down sucks. Standing isn't much better. I got some pain meds at the ER, but they only dull it. Whew. I'm not even sure what the hell I did. I must've just turned wrong while holding Strider. (Who is weighing in at 30 pounds. Yup, he's 18 months old, and is only 4 pounds lighter then his 3 year old cousins. WOW mutant child lol. He is currently wearing 2T clothes.)

Um, I've been trying to get stock together for my Etsy shop. So far I have four sets of chocolate truffle magnets up. I am going to try and get some of my Upcycled book page paintings matted and get them up there as well. I am also going to do some painted wood magnets.

I'm turning 28 the 30th of this month. Ew oldness.

We got a new grill, and it is fantazmic. Jason did chicken and veggie kabobs the other night, and I foundered myself. Grape tomatoes are so freaking fantastic when they are grilled. All sweet and juicy!! MMM! I could have just done with the veggie kabobs hehe. Then we had ribs on the grill with the Jack Daniels bbq sauce... and wowzers were they awesome.
Mom and I went up to the herb lady. We have a half a barrel for herbs now. We got four lavender plants (They are going by the front steps and not in the barrel) We got lemon thyme (OMG it smells fantastic! I can't wait to use it in ice tea) Rosemary, creeping rosemary, chamomile, italaian parsley, coriander, sweet wormwood, peppermint, greek oregano and garden sage.
For flowers, we have started cosmos, calendula, morning glorys, birdhouse gourds ( i know not really a flower but really cool) marigolds, johnny jumpups, poppys, nasturtiums, butterfly flowers, moonflowers, sunflowers and echinacea. We have quite a few more to start, but I ran out of peat pellets. And we are running out of time!! Have to get that done this week. Have to get the veggies started. We are horridly late on those. May have to buy plants that are already started, but oh well. If we have to do that we will have the seeds for next season. We also have four cans of wildflower mix that are going to smother the hill in the side yard. Oh it will be beautiful. The men are raking the hill this weekend. They just dont know it yet.

I have lost 13 pounds. WOOHOO!!! That's just switching to diet soda, and drinking more tea and watching what I eat. I haven't really started on any sort of excersize program, besides chasing the little imp lol.

Strider got his first haircut. It was so crazy long and getting in his face and it was so hot and sweaty (We have hit the 90 mark, the heat came fast and strong) So now it's short on the sides and all spikey on top. (Think David Tennant, save a little shorter for easier care on him) It's so adorable, but it made him look SOOO much older. No more Mommies baby. It's Mommies little man. *Sniffles*

Other than that not much going on. Perhaps I'll write more later... I'm going to go get something to drink it is freaking HOT!!
Sister and her baby and husband are coming up for Easter. (Or as I call it Eggday). Dying eggs Saturday night with everyone. Watching some sign language videos with the little imp. Got some more painting done today... Kwan Yin is coming along nicely. Found some awesome tribal looking fabric with the hands with swirls in the center of them, think I might make a skirt out of it. Definitely making a skirt out of the cool orange and blue tye dye that I found. Trying my hand at embroidering... Oh how I would love to have an embroidery machine. Want to get a hand held GPS so that the family and I can go geocaching. WOOT! The whole world is a treasure hunt, did you know that?? http://www.geocaching.com/ So cool. And there is actually a lot of people doing around here, so it doesn't have to be a huge long drive to find some!! :) Hoping for one of those or a camera for the up coming birthday.... Or maybe both LOL ( I know I'm a stinker )

House hunting.

So, we have decided that for the sake of our sanity, and my parent's relationship and sanity as well... it is time for us to get a place of our own. I'm sure my Mother will argue about the economy and me staying at home with Strider... and blah blah blah. The fact is, that if we stick to a budget, we can make it. We may not be eating out every week and living the high life, but we will have our own space.
It will take us awhile, since we have to rebuild what we need to run a household.. i.e. kitchenware and towels and small appliances and spices and cleaning supplies and stuff. Anyone who has started out fresh knows that these things that you take for granted that belong in a house add up to quite a substantial amount of money. We also want a new couch/recliner set. The one we have is way to big for most places (Huge sectional) so we figure Mom can keep it till she finds what she wants.
So we have begun the dreaded house search. 3 bedrooms are hard to come by. And no one wants to rent with someone with pets. Jeez, Draco has been with me for 8 years... he's not a mess maker.
Part of me is very nervous, but hey that's just me. Taurus's don't deal well with change, what can I say. I just don't want us to fall flat on our faces.

Updates in the dreary world....

Hmm. I almost just stopped doing this. That should tell you of my frame of mind. Got to stop doing that.
In news of Strider, he's hit his terrible twos a tad bit on the early side. Temper temper temper little imp. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that he is behind on his speech, and therefore has trouble communicating what he wants and feels. He is just so physical that I think he has forgotten about the speech part. He is now finally at the "babble" stage. And there are a few things coming through that are coherent. During his 18 month check up next month that is one of the issues that I am bringing to the table. I want to have his hearing checked to make sure that that is not helping with this slow start on speech. I know that some kids that are prone to ear infections need to have tubes put into their ears, and that sometimes helps with speech. He's also taken to throwing full blown tantrums, which now include smashing his head off the floor/bench/me whatever is handy. Yes I know, all the alarm bells for autism went off in my head and I started freaking out. Take a deep breath with me. I researched online, and that is very normal for kids that do not have any sort of the autistic tendency. From what I have read I am supposed to ignore it, he'll stop when he's bored or it hurts. Now, I do not want him with a bruise on his head, so I have simply been putting my hand between his head and the bench (wooden, his favorite spot) and then saying something to the effect of "We don't want to hurt ourselves, it's much better to act nice. Then we can come play/watch tv/have a snack with Mommy." I've really been trying. It's not good to yell so much. I don't want to be that kind of a Mom, and I don't want him to grow up with me going ape shit. Other Strider issues... his skin. His eczema is completely out of control. Yet another thing for me to address at his checkup. I do not want to pump him full of steroids for two weeks out of every month. It can not possibly be good for him. The olive oil didn't help, but one of my friends off of the Pagan swap that I'm in said that her son has had it awful and she found this balm made from bees... I'm going to order some on Friday. From the pictures I saw her son's skin was worst, and it is almost completely gone. Now, please don't get me wrong, he's a wonderful little boy and I love him to death. He's very smart, and has started using his sign language. (I figured that was a way to help cut down on the frustration caused by me not knowing what he wanted) There's just a few of these set backs, which yes I know are completely normal, and yes I will continue to fret over until I make them right.
As for me, well I'm trying to change a bit. I need to be more healthy. I know, it's been said before. I've made one of those mission101 lists, and I will be posting that hopefully during nap time. I need to stop drinking so much pop damn it. (Though be proud, as of now today I've had oj and am working on a pot of peppermint tea.)I need to exercise some portion control and eat a bit better. I need some exercise. That will be easier once it's not subzero temperatures and I can get outside and work on the gardens. I was supposed to start belly dancing on Tuesdays, but something always seems to come up. I need to get back to the Wii fit. I just have to make sure that I make time at least 4 days a week to do it. (Remember people, the only time I have to myself is during nap time. I don't get much else in time to myself. So everything I want to do is balanced in this 2-3 hour place a day. That's including getting some house work done so that other members of this household don't have a fucking fit.) I've been down in the dumps lately, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I figured I'd just have a good wallow, and then get over it. It hasn't quite left yet. I think I might have to go talk to someone about it. I know that it's not good to let it go on like this, and I also fly off the handle at stupid things. All the symptoms are there, might as well recognize them, and get some damn help instead of being miserable. I also have to talk to the doctor about the fact that my fucking hips and lower back hurt so much that some days it's all I can do not to cry while trying to keep up with the little imp. The night before last I barely slept for the tossing and turning I was doing. But anyway, I digress.
I've cut down on my smoking, so that's a plus in the right direction.
I've stopped other activities, and that's a big huge major plus in the right direction.
I've got to get some stock together and get my etsy store up. This will get other individuals off my back because I will be making some sort of monetary contribution. *sigh* I need more time in the day. I do I do.
I'm lonely. I know I am. There's not much to be done about it. I'm surrounded by people that I could use a break from, and there's way to much distance between me and the people that I would love to see. Like I said, not much to be done about it. And please, please don't tell me to go and make some new friends. There aren't any here. I've looked. I'm done looking. I hate people in general, and I am lucky to have the amount of friends that I have, whether or not they are far away. I can't stand humanity and it's stupidity for the most part. I know that if I was somewhere else, I could probably find some people that weren't complete douche-bags. It's not going to happen here. If you don't believe me, come stay in Towanda for a month or so. This place is ridiculous.
I am going to leave it at that, I'm sure I've written enough of a novelette for those of you that want an update, and for those of you who really didn't.... SHUT UP. I read your entries, so be nice. I realize my world isn't very exciting, but it's all I got.


Painted nesting trays, and Yule ornaments

Lookey lookey!!Collapse )</ <a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/btflrain/pic/0002esck/">